Beowulf and Godzilla

Meanehwæl, baccat meaddehæle, monstær lurccen;

Meanwhile, back at the mead-hall, the monster lurks;

Fulle few too many drincce, hie luccen for fyht.

full of too many drinks and goes looking for a fight.

Ðen Hreorfneorhtðhwr, son of Hrwærowþheororthwl,

Then Hreorfneorhtðhwr, son of Hrwærowþheororthwl,

Æsccen æwful jeork to steop outsyd.

Hears an awful jerk to stop outside.

Þhud! Bashe! Crasch! Beoom! Ðe bigge gye

Fudd! Bash! Crash! Boom! The big guy

Eallum his bon brak, byt his nose offe;

feeling his broken back, bites his nose off;

Wicced Godsylla wæld on his asse.

Wicked Godzilla was on his ass.

Monstær moppe fleor wyþ eallum men in hælle.

Monster mopped the floor with all the men in the hall.

Beowulf in bacceroome fonecall bamaccen wæs;

Beowulf who was in bathroom phone call (bamaccen?) was;

Hearen sond of ruccus sæd, "Hwæt ðe helle?"

Hearing the sound of ruckus and said, “What the hell?”

Graben sheold strang ond swich-blæd scharp

Grabbing his shield and sharp switch-blade

Stond feorth to fyht ðe grimlic foe.

he stood forth to fight the grim foe.

"Me," Godsylla sæd, "mac ðe minsemete."

“I,” Godzilla said, “am the mincemeat

Heoro cwyc geten heold wiþ fæmed half-nelson

Hero can getting held with famed half-nelson

Ond flyng him lic frisbe bac to fen

And flying him like a frisbee back to

Beowulf belly up to meaddehæle bar,

Beowulf went belly up to the mead-hall bar

Sæd, "Ne foe beaten     mie færsom cung-fu."

and said “No foe can beat my fiercesom Kung-Fu.”

Eorderen cocca-cohla     yce-coeld, ðe reol þyng.

He ordered a Cocoa Cola ice- cold, the real thing.