Dear Ophelia,
Listen girlfriend, I understand your whole shindig about being all gaga over Prince Hamlet, but this imperceptible flirting you're doing with him, won't pay off in the end... trust me. Your dad may be a sycophantic curmudgeon, but the thing is, he's right. Hamlet is going to become obsessed with his personal vendetta and in the end he's going to forget all about you. The disparity between the two of you is too great, anyway. Maybe you both could've risen to the challenge if your love was fervid enough, but Hamlet's mind is too far set on revenge at this point. You need to inhibit your encounters with him and you need to do so quickly and with haste. Ghosts within the castle walls is only a harbinger for misfortune. At the moment it is imperceptible that you could know what Hamlet's true thoughts about you are now and I can tell you that your association with him will only lead you to a lugubrious fate. So please, head my warning, and get thee to a nunnery!
Sincerely,
A Vigilant Anachronism
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